Ask More, Tell Less: A Different Approach to Client Consultations
As a family lawyer, I used to feel there was so much to “do” in my early client consultations. I needed to provide answers, educate, inform, guide and lead. There was a lot of pressure to make sure clients left with everything I thought they needed.
But what if I started by asking more—and telling less?
When I made more room for asking and listening, I noticed that clients left my office more relaxed, even happier. My wonderful assistant noticed the difference too. She said it was like they had been at the spa rather than a divorce consultation!
Then I knew I was on to something.
Good questions help us discover what clients need
Meeting clients’ needs doesn’t mean having all the answers before we understand the questions. It means being willing to ask and listen—and letting what we hear shape our next steps.
Those conversations help me understand:
What matters to this client
What is concerning them
How they need me to support them
What information they need to make good decisions
From there, we can create a plan together that addresses their concerns and reflects their priorities.
I feel less pressure to perform and inform. Clients have more room to explore their situation and consider possibilities they hadn’t thought of.
One described the experience as “a breath of fresh air.”
Less pressure, more useful conversations
Asking more doesn’t mean withholding advice or leaving clients without direction. It helps me understand which information and guidance will be useful to the person in front of me.
In my experience, feeling heard and understood helps clients relax. When there is less tension in the room, we can have more useful conversations about their choices and the decisions ahead.
I wish I had understood this when I started out as a lawyer.
I don’t need to arrive with every answer. I need to be curious enough to discover what this particular client needs from me.
Help clients begin that discovery before you meet
This shift towards asking inspired me to create the Our Family in Two Homes client preparation tools. The guided workbooks give clients time to reflect on what matters, what concerns them and what they want help with—before we begin working together.
They can consider the questions privately, at their own pace, rather than trying to work through everything during a consultation. Their reflections give us a more thoughtful starting point when we meet.
These tools are available through Launch Pad, which walks you through choosing and using the right workbook for your client’s situation.
Getting started is simple: choose a client, choose the tool and email it to them. They do the guided reflection, and you meet with more insight into what they need.
No additional training required. Launch Pad guides you through the steps so you can send your first workbook today.
Explore Launch Pad and help your clients arrive ready for you.